Celebrating Truth in Romance Day! June 15th

Announcing the first annual, international

 Truth in Romance Day

We have Valentine’s Day for celebrating love. We have days to acknowledge Moms, Dads and Grandparents, We even have days to recognize ground hogs. And did you know September 24th is National Punctuation Day…. No kidding!!

I’ve long struggled with a way to unite folks behind the concept of being truthful in romantic relationships. People who’ve fallen prey to hoaxes know all too well the horrid sense of defilement that accompanies what should be one of the most gratifying undertakings of our lives, finding an emotional and sexual partner. But all too many romance seekers become victims who are embroiled in deceptions that undermine their self determination, exploit them, and crush their self-esteem. For many, the damage can last a lifetime.

Internet daters are often people who are seeking love, and they should not have their hopes met with defilement. Separating someone with a pure heart from a scammer can be aided by checking their ID before the relationship proceeds too far. You should know, for a fact, who you’re dealing with, long before you’re sharing intimacy. For people who’ve sneaked by, June 15th is the day of reckoning.

Why is sharing ID so important?

Checking ID would have saved a recent NJ victim from the sexual hoax perpetrated on her by William Allen Jordan.  He’d stated his name as Liam Allen. It wasn’t until they were engaged that she took a look at the driver’s license that tipped her off to his record for pedophile and bigamist convictions. His escapade in NJ put him in jail for a three year term.

Tom Guido, presently facing bigamy charges, (also in New Jersey, what’s in their water?) used the name Tom Gatto with the many women he seduced. He allegedly falsified information about being in the Marines, the FBI and a licensed Forensic Psychoplogist. He even seems to have conducted private practice as a Therapist without either a degree or a license.

But it’s so embarrassing and invasive to check ID, isn’t it?

People have confided that their fear of looking “untrusting” holds them back. But really, would someone who cares about you, and has told you the truth, not want you to feel safe with them?

Some media folks ridicule the concept by depicting that you’d be locked in the midst of passion and say, “Wait! I have to see your ID. And you’ll need to sign on the dotted line that it’s a valid document as well!” They’re feeding sensationalized propaganda to their nay saying listeners. Deceitful minds believe that belittling will fool you into thinking that truth isn’t relevant.

Scammers are loathe to give out their address, especially if they’re married. If they’re 45, not 33 like they told you, wouldn’t you like to know? But you really shouldn’t wait ’til you’re clothes are coming off in order to ask!

June 15th is your golden opportunity!

ID cardsIt’s the day that all new romance and sexual partners should share ID and fess-up about any distortions they’ve told each other. If every year, new romantic partners knew they had to come clean on June 15th, the rate of sex scams would drop. They’d understand that they’d be found out, so what would be the point.

While you’re looking at their driver’s license, don’t hesitate to ask for any other proofs you need, like the health test they told you they’d taken. And if they falsify their documents, indeed, they’re conducting sexual assault by fraud.

What if they don’t want to share their ID with me?

If you’ve been intimate together, and your belief is that you’ve embarked on an on-going relationship, they should be eager to prove their love. If not, they probably have something they’re hiding, and you’re better off knowing now, or walking away.

When do lies become Sexual Assault by Fraud?

Lying to you is not a crime, ’til the offender takes something that you would otherwise not give them by their doing so. If they’re inducing sex through lies, it’s time they admit the truth and let you decide for yourself what you chose to do with your body and your emotions.

Online dating provides the perfect opportunity for scammers and offers no protection. Whatever the person falsely states in their profile should be straightened out BEFORE you engage in sex with them. It’s one thing to puff yourself up to be attractive. It’s quite another to actually carry out an act of sexual penetration based on a hoax you created.

And the reward is? 

buble bathJust like most special days call for unique gifts like candy on Valentines Day and flowers on Mother’s Day, exchanging ID and coming clean on Truth in Romance Day is the perfect excuse for a luxurious bubble bath for two, replete with a sprinkle of rose petals and a lovely, chilled bottle of champagne. It’s the perfect reward for respecting and building trust between you and your new romantic partner.

When I was young and said something I shouldn’t, the outcome was a bitter, distasteful bar of soap. What a great consequence for those who fail their ID check on Truth in Romance Day! 

And don’t forget to report back here on any interesting events that took place!

Read How to Introduce “Truth in Romance Day” to Your Mate

 

 

© Copyright Joyce M. Short, All rights reserved.

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Celebrating Truth in Romance Day! June 15th”

  1. I about fell off my chair reading this ..
    Finding out my husband of almost 2 decades was filled 16 years of sex addiction lies ,sex with co workers friends my bf..on dating sites .
    Five times in ok cupid that I have the proof all using a fake name .sometimes old job ..etc
    I had intercepted many of them
    Before I spent 2 n half years in therapy from shock n trauma etc .
    These were so devastated .I knew there raw pain ..I had talked about this with some people ..I truly felt these women were sexually violated .
    I even have text I’ve saved .Ome was a former co worker of ours .she came to his job one day . he told her the usual …if it was someone that knew us ….we had been divorced for years
    She begged me to please forgive her .As I had told her when our teen daughter found an email to her of a selfie in our downstairs bathroom pants down with hard on ..that I had nothing but sadness for her .I knew he had lied to her ..the only one that knew he wasn’t sinle was the bf.
    Even her .she was a train wreck emotionally..easy target
    I have 3 phones worth of his victims .
    What I’ve been thru I wouldn’t wish on any one …My faith in GOD kept me alive ..PANDORAS box opened and for 3 weeks just spewed secrets sick photos on a fetish sex hook up site ..etc etc …I have a purpose in this ..I have been praying that God would guide me. .I feel so strong many issues with these dating sites .a 7 year old could join fet life ..etc
    These women were so violated ..hurt beyond words …the ones that he had got what his goal was were extremely hurt..I want to raise awareness…have more strict guidelines for joining these sites ..have these sites to maybe have something put in that these women and some men .know n can ask for ID…the red flags ..
    I imagine you know where I’m going with this
    THANK YOU FOR THIS ARTICLE.
    I HAVE FELT SO SO SO STRONG AND CONVICTED IN MY HEART THAT HE IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR..THATS WHY THE MENTAL HEALTH AND SEX A PUT SEX ADDICTS AND PEDOPHILES IN THE SAME TBERAPY GROUPS.SUPPORT GROUPS.AGE IS THE ONLY DIFFERENCE..AND THAT LINE CAN AND HAS BEEN CROSSED BOTH WAYS.
    MY STEP DAD WAS A PEDOPHILE
    HE LIKE LITTLE GIRLS..BUT WITH ME ,EVEN WHEN I MATURED AND I DID EARLY AND QUITE ALOT..
    AND TEEN GIRLS HAVE THE SAME BODIES OLDER WOMEN HAVE.
    I THINK THAT WE REALLY NEED FO RAISE AWARENESS AND VERY STRICT PROTECTION MESURES.
    THE DATING SITES ARE THERE FEEDING GROUNDS.FILLED WITH WOMEN AND MEN WOMEN ESPECIALLY THAT ARE BROKEN.
    FRAGILE. THE PERFECT TARGET
    barbiegram@hotmail.com is an second email ..or messenger ..
    I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this subject .I have felt so strongly for some time about this .

    Thank You

    Barbie L…….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Barbie-

      So sorry about what you’ve been through. Indeed, he sounds like a sex addict. Women are nothing but play toys to these miscreants. And that’s the mentality of anyone who lies to induce a person into sex. The other person is a mere object, an entitlement, not a human being who lives inside their body.

      And, yes, there ought to be laws, particularly “Catfish Profiler” laws on a federal level that can deter the behavior on the internet which has become a haven for romance scams.

      Also sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I was away for a couple of days to attempt to recharge my brain.

      Like

  2. My scammer did not lie as about his name or address…..just everything else. In a case as this, how can checking id be of use? I may have even seen it. I was still scammed.
    PS why don’t you just delete Carl’s comments?

    Like

    1. Truth in Romance Day not only supports checking ID, which would save many people, but unfortunately not all, from harm, it raises awareness of the problem. It promotes the concept that taking a new romantic partner at face value is not a good idea.

      It also suggests that you look at additional supports that are important to you such as checking the validity of their health claims.

      The reason I don’t take Carl’s comment down is that I feel it’s important for readers to see the horrid mentality of people who are harmful and how they think. If I just include information from supporters, we’d all be preaching to the choir and what would change?

      My intent is to raise awareness and I believe that giving the naysayers enough rope to hang themselves on underscores how and why this problem exists. It takes a very disturbed mentality, like Carl’s, to think that scamming a person for sex is okay.

      Changing society’s concepts is an uphill battle. Unless we see how pervasive and entrenched predators are in their beliefs, and how common their mentality is, people won’t recognize why we need to implement laws to make a difference.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. To Carl, why do people like yourself defend people who are guilty of false personation who defraud others in relationships of knowing who they are getting involved with and what their intentions are? It is more than about “getting laid.” We are talking about fraudsters who often commit financial exploitation, financial fraud, and they use the relationship scam to get what they want. In the process, they take you sexually, which is rape.

    The person that is targeted thinks they are in a real relationship with the identity of the person that was presented, but then later to find out, they’ve been taken for large sums of money. And the sex …. yes, the sex, was manipulation and rape. It was sick.

    Carl, would you actually lie about your age, your marital status, occupation, your residence, your position in life, how many children you have, your name, your travel plans, what you are up to, your criminal history …. and then con someone for thousands of dollars pretending to be in dire need? That is what we are talking about. That is what happened to me and it was a relationship that lasted over a year. I hope you would not do something so terrible to any woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Every insult convinces me that I’ve hit a nerve and I’m that much closer to proving my point.”

    REALLY??

    Your barometer for judging how good your idea is the level of insults you receive?

    Why not suggest continuing the “final solution” the Nazis started because the replies you get for doing so will make this stupid idea seem like a passing fad by comparison.

    Like

    1. Carl-

      I don’t think of insults as a barometer, but surely you’re not ignorant to the concept that every good idea initially meets with ridicule. Or are you?

      When Nikolaus Copernicus discovered the world was not flat, society didn’t speak graciously about his concept. Today we accept that the world is a globe without hesitation. Socrates was executed for the thinking we all understand and accept today.

      The evolving concept of rape is far from a passing fad. Just ask the next woman you date whether she minds your lying to her to engage her in sex. The role my book played in society’s conversation is something I’m very proud of.

      Like

    2. Carl, you obviously have not been a victim. “Some” people are inherently more trusting than others. Those of us who are trusting by nature get caught. Perhaps you have an untrusting nature and do not outwardly appear to be a “target” of a sociopath, psychopath or narcissist. After two significant fraudulent transactions with people I trusted (my nature) I learned, but not without significant emotional (including PTSD) turmoil and long lasting grief. I suggest you look in the mirror and examine your personality type before lashing out. Not everyone is the same as you allude to.

      Seducing someone for money, immigration status, sex etc. is fraud plain and simple. There are no “ifs and or buts” about this. It is fraud.

      I am a male by the way.

      Liked by 2 people

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