Nobody in their right mind sets out to fall in love with a sexual predator.
When I met a man who lied to me about his every conceivable identity characteristic in order to attract me, I was as capable and intelligent as most twenty-somethings get. It took years to unravel the mess he'd made of my life. And I wouldn't want that hardship visited on another human soul.
I've learned a great deal about what motivates people to be kind or cruel. Through many years of struggle, I finally figured out what I needed to know in order to heal myself from the defiling effects of rape by fraud. I determined to pass that knowledge along for others who were victimized as I had been.
I also discovered the weakness in present-day criminal code that enables sexual assault by fraud to continue unabated. I hope to make an impact on society's recognition, and to implement changes in rape laws in order to penalizes offenders, and deter them from carrying out their heinous behavior.
I'm no one special.... just a reasonably intelligent person who cares. I grew up all along the East coast, from Massachusetts to Georgia, and settled in NYC more than forty years ago. I work as a real estate broker and I run a free tennis program for the children in my community. I've done so for over twenty-five years. It's truly a labor of love.
While my ex undermined my ability to have a loving family, I've found love in the many friendships I enjoy and derive great satisfaction from my efforts to instill character in the children whose lives I've touched on the tennis court.
I'm a dog lover and I’ve trained my pet Aussie, Argos, to play a match against the wall. I hit, he catches. He usually wins. Please pardon the pun…. He’s doggedly determined! But if we were in a group who were divvying up teams for a doubles match, you'd probably want me on your side.
I'm strong, I'm resilient....I'm a survivor!
I received the following message from a very intelligent Blue Grass State resident (with a PhD.) We’ll call her Pamela. She discovered she was hitched to a narcissist after a 40 year marriage that produced four children.
Shaming rarely dents behavior. It simply makes people feel lousy about what they’ve done. Yet a new stylized term for shaming, “sexual risk avoidance,” seems to be gaining prominence when it comes to sex education in the nation’s schools.
On Friday, 5/12/17, in Kansas City MO, Mario Antoine, sex scammer, pleaded guilty. Both his and the federal attorney agreed to a sentence of 10 years, as he pleaded guilty to wire fraud and avoided up to 60 years confinement on all charges.
Recent news coverage casts a huge light on “Stealthing;” stripping off the condom during intercourse, without the partner’s consent.
From the Huffington Post to Fox News and beyond, articles are popping up across the media landscape, and all exemplify why broadcasting the actual meaning of “consent” is so vital! Continue reading #Stealthing Lacks Consent!→
Borderline Personality Disorder is now estimated to be more prevalent in society than Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia. It’s attributed to 2% of the population.
Society needs to understand the prevalence of this and other character disorders, and that the root cause is genetics. We can’t fix them, but there are treatments for BPD that will enable them to “fix” themselves.
Until the science of nuero-psychology began, such as back in Freud’s time, the only plausible explanation was the impact of the parent on the child. Today, we’re beginning to know better. And thank God! Parents who lovingly nurtured their horribly disturbed children were often fingered as the cause. They lived under a cloud of shame.
Children with Borderline Personality Disorder are extremely difficult to raise. They’re identified as “conduct disordered” while under 18. Mental Health professionals fail to address their issues in a meaningful way that helps the parent cope and addresses the growing manipulative character of the child. They incite, enrage, distort, bully and blame. It feels like the child you adore, who you’d lay down your life for, sees you as the enemy because you’re responsible for curbing their outrageous behavior and attempting to encourage them to become caring and concerned beings. There is no escape from the child who behaves like an enemy in your midst.
Hopefully, there will be more recognition of the anguish the parent experiences in raising a BPD child, and that someone will develop treatment protocols to mend the family.
In courtrooms- narcissists blur the lines between cause and effect!
In any court of law, proof, not truth, is the deciding factor. But when dealing with narcissists and other character disordered offenders, both truth and proof fly out the window.
As we live our lives, we rarely journal each and every daily event. Without concrete evidence of who threw the first punch. – “Was the person the aggressor or simply defending against one?” – it’s hard to prove. And in matters of emotional abuse, where no bruises or scars can help tell the story, the complexity of the problem is intensified. Continue reading A Dozen Tips for Court Prep Against a Narcissist→
We think of Wealth Managers as highly educated, intelligent people. But that preconceived image helps unethical con artists carry out apalling harm!
The “Wealth Manager Scam” is one of the most potent of all extortions taking place through on-line dating! Offenders stir the romantic brain chemistry of their victims with flowers, affection, and talk of love, while plying them for details about their investments. Continue reading The Wealth Manager Romance Scam- Lessons Learned→
Congratulations to the residents and legislators of California! This bill was approved yesterday. BTW- Yesterday, when I spoke to someone in the office of Asm. Reggie Jones-Sawyer, she told me the phones have been ringing off the hook! Good work everyone!
Tomorrow, March 29th, the California Legislature will vote on the “Rape Survivor’s Civil Rights Bill,” AB1312, introduced by Assembly Members Gonzalez, Fletcher and Berman.
The FBI tells us that Romance Scams are the most common form of fraud in today’s society. And I don’t use the word “fraud” loosely. As most of you who’ve read my material know, lies only constitute a crime when the victim suffers harm. ‘Til then, lies are just lies.
If the person who posted this tweet actually works for McDonalds, they’ll probably get fired. But let’s all express our support by buying a BigMac today and telling their staff how happy we are about their comment!
I’ve probably eaten two BigMacs in the past 10 years, but today, I’ll put my loathing for fast food aside to stand behind this statement, and I hope you will too!
The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, in a CBC News article, stated that only about 10% of romance scams actually get reported to the police. If that’s the case, the losses of $99 million in Canada’s reported romance scam cases actually exceed hundreds of millions! They also calculate the average monetary loss per victim to be approximately $25,000.00. The FBI’s figures in the US top a billion dollars per year! Continue reading March is Fraud Awareness Month!→
Anyone who lives with abuse can see them self in these two interactions. When he turns toward her, she smiles. When he turns away, her heartache is visible all over her face.
Melania’s been cowed, shamed, and pastes on a smile whenever it’s required. But notice, even though she seemed totally crest-fallen at whatever maliciousness Trump expressed toward her, she repressed any change in her facial expression ’til her oppressor turned away. She’s well-schooled in tolerating his despicable behavior. And as you can see, he can hurl harm without changing his own facial character one single iota. It’s all a show, and he’s the master showman.
While maintaining an artificial smile might assuage his intemperance in the privacy of their home, it sure doesn’t work while the cameras of the entire world are trained on their personal yet public interaction. She likely received a sharp rebuke from these public showings of her feelings about him.
He’ll relegate her back to her gilded cage in Trump Tower as soon, and as much as possible.