State Penal Codes

In the US, where rape by fraud happens determines if it’s a crime!

As ridiculous as it seems, in one state, it’s a criminal offense, while just down the street, it’s the “puffery” of seduction!

A little history

As far back as 1865, rape by fraud was recognized as a heinous act in the state of Michigan. In People vs. Croswald the high court upheld the defendant’s conviction for rape by fraud and stated:

“The outrage upon the woman is just as great in these cases as if actual force had been employed.”

In the Roman era, recognition that a rape occurred was dependent on the victim being a “citizen” not a slave, and a virgin. It was punishable by death as a capital offense against the head of her household who owned her virginity, which was a valued commodity. But even still, Socrates identified the harm in “sex using persuasion,” and considered that harm especially compelling because it undermined the character of the victim.

Ironically, in the modern era, the act of obtaining intercourse through material and false misrepresentations, rape by fraud, is only penalized in a few states. And the act of misleading a person in order to elicit love and affection, emotional rape, is never penalized at all.

What is fraud?

All fraud laws are based on the premise that a person’s consent must be unambiguous, freely given and not the by-product of deceit in order to be legally valid. When a person robs someone of their assets by misleading them into consent, they can be punished for “robbery by fraud.” Likewise, when a person misleads someone into sexual contact or sexual intercourse, they are sexually assaulting their target. Irrespective that the victim did not know the offender’s conduct was sexual assault at the time, the offender knew full-well that the consent they received was given as a result of their deliberate, intentional duplicity.

Legal commentators speak out

Kathryn and Russell Christopher, University of Tulsa College of Law, and authors of Criminal Law, Model Problems and Outstanding Answers, wrote a comprehensive review of Rape by Fraud as a means to defend statutory rapists. Their work was published in the 2007, Northwestern University Law Review. On page #102, their comments include:

“Under two consent standards—“global consent” and “knowing and voluntary consent” —fraud vitiates the victim’s consent to intercourse,”


“As many as twelve states follow the Model Penal Code in promulgating global consent provisions declaring that deception renders the victim’s consent legally ineffective.”

Law Professor Susan Estrich staunchly advocated for rape laws to prohibit the same deceptions as a state’s laws of false pretenses or fraud. In all states, adult impersonation qualifies as a material fraud.

Professor Estrich authored Real Rape, the first meaningful book to shed light on rape by fraud. She is a noted political commentator for Fox News, the 1988 National Campaign Manager for Dukakis-Bentsen, and the first female President of the Harvard Law Review,

Law Professor Patricia Falk identified the issues surrounding the inclusion of rape by fraud law in penal code. Her submission to the Brooklyn Law Review, in 2009, outlined many of the problems and challenges such laws face.

Distinctions in acts of rape by fraud

Some states penalize fraud in the factum while others prosecute fraud in the inducement. Fraud in the factum occurs when the victim is deceived that sexual intercourse is taking place. If a doctor indicates he’s inserting a medical instrument but inserts his penis instead, he’s conducting fraud in the factum.

Fraud in the inducement would occur if the victim is fooled about the identity or some aspect of the identity of the sexual offender.

Find what you need about your state

The following is a brief outline of the conditions of rape by fraud laws in various states. Read the posts about individual states for more in-depth analysis. Right click on the state’s name to link with further information:

Alabama– ***** Sexual Misconduct when consent is obtained by any fraud or artifice. A Class A misdemeanor.

Arizona– Fraud in the factum (nature of the act)

California– *** Fraud in the factum (nature of the act). Governor Jerry Brown recently signed “Yes Means Yes” into law. This legislation states that affirmative permission must be unambiguous. Question- How can an offender, who knows they are lying, perceive the victim’s consent to be unambiguous? California passed changes to their “rape” law in 2013 making certain types of rape by fraud illegal.

District of Columbia (DC)- Even their misdemeanor on sexual abuse fails to cover sexual assault by fraud. They substitute “consent” for “permission.” “Whoever engages in a sexual act or sexual contact with another person and who should have knowledge or reason to know that the act was committed without that other person’s permission, shall be imprisoned for not more than 180 days and, in addition, may be fined in an amount not more than the amount set forth in § 22-3571.01.”

Florida– Consent must be “intelligent and knowing.” Florida refers to sex crimes as sexual battery. Although no specific law on rape by fraud, their language seems promising if a victim pursues such a charge. See post for further information.

Hawaii– No provisions for rape by fraud. Statutes protect against sexual acts recklessly achieved by “complusion,” which includes coercion, the threat of harm, or sexual contact achieved through the abuse of authority. “Peeping” under trespass is a fourth degree offense.

Idaho– ***** Rape by fraud in the inducement and in the factum! Idaho continues to use the term “rape.” All rape requires a male offender and a female victim. Rape occurs when the victim believes that the accused is someone other than who they are and their belief is induced by any artifice, pretense, or concealment by the accused to induce such belief. Fraud in the factum extends to cover sexual exploitation by medical providers as well as psychiatric and mental health professionals.

Louisiana– Protects against fraud in the inducement but only when the offender pretends to be the victim’s husband. See individual post on this state for further information.

Massachusetts– A rape by fraud statute was introduced by Representative Peter J. Koutoujian, and voted down. See individual post on this state for further information.

Michigan– Penalizes intercourse obtained by concealment. (Arguable as to whether a lie is considered concealment.) (v) When the actor, through concealment or by the element of surprise, is able to overcome the victim.

750.532 Seduction; Archaic Law but still on the books- Any man who shall seduce and debauch (degrade, corrupt) any unmarried woman shall be guilty of a felony, punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not more than 5 years or by fine of not more than 2,500 dollars; but no prosecution shall be commenced under this section after 1 year from the time of committing the offense.

Nebraska– Fraud in the factum (nature of the act). Penalizes intercourse obtained by deception as to the identity of the actor such as a person who poses as a fiance, husband or lover.

Nevada– Supreme Court ruling, McNair vs. State- Sexual assault language is sufficiently broad  and explicit to encompass conduct occurring as a result of fraud & deceit.

New Jersey– Penalizes Fraud in the factum (nature of the act.) An overhaul of their criminal code eliminated the term “rape” and replaced it with the terms “Sexual Assault” and “Sexual Contact.” Additional language contained in The Criminal Law Digest of the State of NJ states that affirmative permission to the specific act of sexual penetration or contact must be perceived as such by a reasonable person. Victims of “sexual assault” in this state are entitled to a restraining order against the offender based on “Nicole’s Law.” NJ mirrors the concept of “consent” in their definition, but fails to enforce the law as it’s written that requires “consent” in all sexual contact.

In 2014, Asm. Troy Singleton made an attempt to enact a law to prevent sexual assault by fraud. The law was too loosely written and did not garner support. Changing the behavior of law enforcement and prosecutors in NJ could be as simple as insisting that they act on the law that currently exists. But instead, a victim wants to make a big name for herself by creating a new law and has set back the effort through her ignorance.

New York– Neither fraud in the factum nor fraud in the inducement. Sexual misconduct, however, provides basic language that could be utilized to pursue a rape by fraud case, however, the concept of “knowing consent” must be argued in order to do so.

Oregon- A little gem of a law exists there. It’s called “Sexual Abuse in the Third Degree” and it’s based on “consent.” Most of Oregon’s sex laws require forcible compulsion, defect, or physical helplessness, but § 163.415¹ is the exception.  Only an actual case will prove whether Oregon understands what “consent” actually means. 

Rhode Island– Prohibits intercourse obtained by concealment

Tennessee– ***** Prohibits intercourse induced by deception, accomplished by fraud and obtained by ruse. Abolished distinction between fraud in the factum and fraud in the inducement.  However, a child who is a victim of statutory rape can be considered an accomplice in their own rape, nullifying the statutory rape charge against the accused through a rape by fraud defense.

FindLaw provides the following information on Tennessee’s Law:

Tennessee Code Title 39: Criminal Offenses, Chapter 13: Offenses Against the Person, Part 5: Sexual Offenses
What is Prohibited? Many sexual offenses are illegal in Tennessee, including:

  • Rape – Sexual penetration (vaginal, oral, or anal intercourse or intrusion of any body part or object into the genitals of any person involved, emission isn’t required) of a victim using force or coercion (threats of violence,kidnapping, etc), without the victim’s consent (and knows without consent), defendant knows the victim is mentally or physically incapacitated, or is accomplished by fraud.


Sexual Battery in Tennessee is a Class E Felony

Sexual Offenses

39-13-505.  Sexual battery.
  (a) Sexual battery is unlawful sexual contact with a victim by the defendant or the defendant by a victim accompanied by any of the following circumstances:
   (1) Force or coercion is used to accomplish the act;
   (2) The sexual contact is accomplished without the consent of the victim and the defendant knows or has reason to know at the time of the contact that the victim did not consent;
   (3) The defendant knows or has reason to know that the victim is mentally defective, mentally incapacitated or physically helpless; or
   (4) The sexual contact is accomplished by fraud.
(b) As used in this section, “coercion” means the threat of kidnapping, extortion, force or violence to be performed immediately or in the future.

According to CrimLaw, prosecuting these cases, even where a straightforward law exists , is difficult, and in Tennessee, only two such cases have been tried:

State v. Mitchell, 1999, C.C.A. No. 01C01-9612-CR-00502, a man convinced women he was their boyfriend and that he had a fantasy that they would have sex while she was blindfolded. In State v. Brigman, 2003, C.C.A. No. M2002-00461-CCA-R3-CD, a man convinced young men that if they were blindfolded a woman would come and perform oral sex on the young male, but did it himself. Both of these seem to indicate that conviction for rape by fraud is a difficult case to prosecute which would only occur in incredibly unusual situations.

Texas– Sexual assault in the factum. It’s a sexual assault if the offender knows that the person is unaware that the sexual act is occurring.

22.011(a) (1) a person commits an offense (sexual assault) if the person intentionally or knowingly causes the penetration of the anus or sexual organ of another person by any means without that person’s consent. Further, the statute identifies multiple non-violent but non-consensual acts. Fraud, however, is not on the list.

Rape by fraud in this state would require it to be argued that since duplicity invalidates consent, and invalid consent is no consent at all, sexual assault by fraud should be covered under their existing statute.

Texas law covers when the actor compels the person in their role of spiritual advisor, but not rape by fraud.

Utah– Penalizes intercourse obtained by concealment

Virginia– § 18.2-67.4  Sexual battery. A. An accused is guilty of sexual battery if he sexually abuses, as defined in § 18.2-67.10, (i) the complaining witness against the will of the complaining witness, by force, threat, intimidation, or ruse,



60 thoughts on “State Penal Codes”

  1. I am curious about your opinion of the “trans” movement and the numerous individuals who claim that a person who has a penis and dresses in western women’s clothing is ethically and legally permitted to have sex with other men, who appear hetrosexual, without revealing the fact that the person they are having contact with was not born with a vagina.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Eric-

      I’ve written a few posts on the subject of transgender deceit. You’ll be able to find them by simply entering the word “transgender” in the keyword search in the left hand column of this site.

      The short version is, no one has the right to deceive a person about their gender. Surgery can change appearance but it can’t change a person’s DNA. I applaud the fact that modern science can make people more comfortable in their bodies, but that doesn’t give that person the right to deceive someone else about who they actually are when it comes to sexual consent.

      Every human being is entitled to self determination over their reproductive organs. It’s not okay to defraud anyone to induce sex.

      BTW- the link you gave me doesn’t work for me. I’d be happy to watch if you’d like to check what you’ve written.


  2. The only reason why this topic even exists is because there is an epidemic of gold digging whores in western society. If you get duped into sleeping with a man because you think he is a doctor or a lawyer, when you get dumped, you get what you deserve. You would have to create your own feminist county to make “rape by fraud” a law. But no man would live there. Stop gold digging & this won’t happen to you.


    1. Kris- You’re grossly incorrect. People lie about all manner of characteristics, not simply about their profession.

      Everyone is entitled to make personal determinations about who they do and do not have sex with. If their personal choice was not their right, than everyone would be required to have sex with everyone else. We all know that’s simply not true. Yet you disparage the right to make choices as if doing so makes the person wrong. The only one who is wrong is you for not respecting the right to choose.


  3. After watching L&O SVU s18e02, I’m very curious to know how the criminal justice system would decide what, if any, lies would not constitute rape by deception. If a person claims to be a doctor, but is actually a PA (or didn’t technically graduate from medical school yet), is that rape? What if the person was a nurse instead of a doctor? What if a man lies about having or not having a vasectomy or a woman lies about having or not having had a hysterectomy? What if they simply lie about their desire to have kids? How about if a woman lies about her age or hair color? If they lied about their annual income? Where do they draw the line, or don’t they?


    1. Jeffrey-

      Thanks for asking. You’ve raised an important concern that many people have.

      The line is not drawn according to the size of the lie you tell. No matter what size gun an offender uses to murder a person, the victim is dead. The size of the lie does not determine whether a sexual assault did or did not take place.

      What constitutes a case that can be prosecuted is the proof that exists, whether the victim had a reasonable basis of belief, and whether they acted as a “reasonable” person would have behaved in that circumstance.

      While no one should lie to get laid, not all cases pass the litmus test that enables prosecution.


      1. While I love a good analogy, I do not believe those are analogous. In your example, the analogy you try to draw is based on a circular argument. Of course someone who was murdered is still murdered, but that’s why the offender is guilty of ‘murder’, not ‘murder with an irrelevantly-sized gun’. The correct parallel to that statement would be, “No matter what size lie an offender used to lie to a person, the person is still lied to.” The assumption that the lie, any lie, changes it from “lied to” to “raped” doesn’t follow logically.

        So according to your criteria, any lie whatsoever, so long as a reasonable person could fall for it and consequently consent to sex, should constitute rape. As in my above examples, all of them would constitute rape in your book? Every woman that has lied about her age to get a man in bed is a rapist?

        A long time ago, I saw an ad for scrap paper that looked like an official ATM withdrawal slip that showed a very large bank balance. The idea was that a person could keep one crumpled up in their pocket and then when trying to give a phone number to someone (yes, this pre-dated cell phones) they could pull out what they thought was just a sales receipt or something and write their number on it, assuming the person would ultimately look at what it was and assume that the person was wealthy. So if the person wouldn’t have looked at the back, or if they would have had sex regardless of what the balance stated, it wouldn’t be rape, but if they ONLY had sex because of their assumption that the slip was theirs, and that it was a personal fortune, and that it was a current reflection of their net worth (essentially revealing that they are a gold digger) then it’s rape?!?


        1. Too much assumption in that analogy. It would not constitute a rape by fraud case. But make no mistake, undermining a person’s self determination over their reproductive organs by any form of trickery is a sexual assault, not seduction. Not all such offenses, like the gamesmanship you’re describing, could be prosecuted.


          1. I’m not asking whether or not it can be prosecuted. This is about policy, not execution. Simply by describing it as sexual assault, I assume that means you WANT it to be prosecutable. So I guess I’ll ask a very specific question:
            A 40-year-old woman (whose online dating profile stated she was 34) found a man on a dating site whose parameters stated he wanted a woman between the ages of 25-35, messaged him, and set up a date. On their date, she chose an activity that would require her to show proof of ID (like rent a sports car for a fun country drive) in the hopes he would see her fake ID confirming her fake age. The ID was good enough to pass inspection. He then feels comfortable that the woman meets his criteria, and later in the evening, they have consensual intercourse. On their second date, while out to lunch, the woman happens to run into an old high school friend who casually mentions their graduating year, prompting the man to realize she has lied to him in order to fit his criteria. He obtains the copy of the license the business made on their first date, gets a third-party-verified web archive of her profile showing she stated she was 34, and a copy of her birth certificate proving she was lying. In your opinion, should this woman be prosecuted for, and convicted of, rape by fraud?

            I have a follow-up question that is unrelated to the above question: Can two people rape each other at the exact same time?

            Also, please expound on the analogy. I showed why your gun/murder example wasn’t analogous. If you want to challenge that, please explain why it’s wrong.


            1. The simple answer is, yes. She’s guilty of rape by fraud. And she’s probably done so multiple times.

              I’ll get to your second question when I have time…. sorry. Over-committed at the moment. But I’ll get back to it when I’m able.


  4. Hi Joyce: I need to update and supplement a name I submitted to you previously. One of his latest victims contacted me and she informed me that he is using aliases. He is not stupid, just deluded by his own grandiosity. He gave her my contact info. What is the best way to update your list? Thanks. Kat


  5. Rape by deception happens CONSTANTLY during sex trafficking investigations (previously referred to as prostitution stings but now virtually ALL prostitution stings are being referred to as sex trafficking investigations) when POLICE pose as clients and have sexual contact including sex to completion- before arresting sex workers. This happens to both minors and adults working in the sex trade. Minors are automatically legally defined as sex trafficking victims but police often don’t know the age of a person until after they have had sexual contact and the person arrested. This happens OFTEN. It’s one of law enforcement’s dirty little secrets and it is enabled by the criminalization of prostitution. The victims feel violated. Consent is negated! The sexworkernation YouTube channel features testimony from experts and victims who have experienced this form of rape by deception.


  6. Hi Joyce, thank you for doing what you do. I live in Oregon and was horribly raped by fraud by my now ex-husband, is there a particular type of attorney to hire to sue him?


    1. Hi Carla-

      I love it when folks ask me about the laws in their states because it motivates me to look it up and post the information. You’ll now see a post from today entitled “Oregon- Will Rape by Fraud be Prosecuted there?”

      I hope you’ll be the very first case that benefits from my new book, “Combating Romance Scams,” because you may very well be able to put it to good use. Yes, there is actually a law in Oregon that could be used in cases of non-consent. And the book makes the argument that no one consents to sex when they’re duped into it. It provides the legal argument regarding the definition.

      I don’t know enough about your case to know if you’ll be able to pursue it. It would be a crime, not a tort, (civil action.) If you’d like to share the background with me, I’m happy to listen and let you know if I think it’ll fit.

      So grab the book (it’s on Amazon) and read it so you can make the argument that lying to get laid is a crime. And let me know the background information. You can post it here, or you can write me at


      1. Hi Joyce, the very short version is, while we were married he was leading a double life having sex with multiple women and was still having sex with me. When I found out the truth I stoped having sex with him and went to the doctor to get checked for all types of VD.


  7. Clinical depression is a very real medical condition. It is not caused by stupidity. But it does take a stupid person to think that it is. It also takes a stupid person to think any kind of emotional abuse is ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. My girlfriend infected me with a sexual disease she acquired while secretly cheating on me with another man.

    Since we agreed to be in an exclusive relationship and she broke that agreement, I feel that I was repeatedly raped by her.

    I’m currently seeking damages for fraud and assault charges for infecting me with the STD, but my lawyer is trying to talk me out of the rape charges.

    Can you give me any advice on this humiliating situation?


    1. John-

      I gather from your handle that you’re living in CA. Here’s a post I wrote about a CA case not too long ago. The only deception that CA will prosecute is fraud in the factum, which is misrepresentation of the act itself. Let’s say instead of being your girlfriend, your private parts were touched by a doctor or nurse who said if was medically necessary to do so when it was not. That would be a case of fraud in the factum. It’s considered a form of “sexual battery.”

      There are California laws that punish the knowing transmission of STDs. Here’s a link to a list that includes all the states. Here’s what it says about California.: STD Crimes in California

      Three criminal laws in California specifically address people who have either the human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV, or other sexually transmitted diseases.

      Willful exposure

      Anyone who has any kind of infectious, communicable, or contagious disease in California commits a crime if that person exposes him or herself to others. This crime is punishable as a misdemeanor offense. You also commit this crime if you knowingly expose someone else whom you know has such a disease to other people. (California Health and Safety Code section 120290.)

      I advise you to try to file charges with the police before you go for a civil case. In either case, you’ll need significant proof that you had no STD before you had sex with her.

      I understand that you feel raped. You were. Getting justice for it is extremely difficult. Can I add you to the list of advocates to fight for a sexual assault by fraud law in your state? Also, my new book, “Don’t Swallow That Catfish Hook!” is about to launch and contains the language for that law. Would you like to be notified when it’s published? If so, please click onto this post to supply your information.

      I wish you all the best!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. as a man I can’t wait for this law, when me and my date feel like having sex we can take our time to show each other our passports, ID, college records, health records, family records, and then kick her our of my house because she lied about her weight and education. Of course I say this assuming men and women are treated equally in the justice system and women are capable of lying too, but we all know women get easier sentences and less time spent in prison when compared to men, for the same crimes, so I’m not looking forward to a one sided application of this law especially when people don’t even take male rapes seriously. Men can rape and lie, but women can’t rape and lie; so we need to create laws to oppress men decades after the consentual sexual act, am I right?! (please notice my high level of sarcasm) Let’s try your logic on this story: wife initiates consentual sex with husband assuring him that she is on birth control, but later ends up pregnant because she lied. RAPIST BY FRAUD! if you think that women can’t lie and rape by fraud then you are a sexist.


    1. I was with a man for an entire year, living together, sharing finances, adopting a pet, sharing friends & family. Before we got together I was in a serious bind and decided to take a risk on romance because of a life crisis. The deal was that we were both monogamous looking to spend our lives with one person.

      Later I found out he was cheating on me; he persistently threatened to leave me anytime he felt like it. He abused me, used drugs (which itself is another form of adultery). One day after his tax return he made up an excuse that we weren’t working out and that I had done something to no longer be lovable. The breakup was absolutely atrocious, and he even informed me doesn’t even believe in monogamy. I find him on dating websites professing this same very philosophy as he is scouring the Internet for new people to use for sexual pleasure.

      As you can imagine—the security I put my faith in that I had a real, consensual relationship that was reciprocated with love, pleasure, the same need, and balance was nothing but an entire lie. All the money I was building, the art projects I was writing, the plans I was making, the cat I adopted to be his cat’s buddy, the new friendships & family—EVERYTHING was taken away. That isn’t even mentioning the attachment I had for this man and the sexual comfort that binds people together.

      No. I had to let go of everything while him & his friends taunted, insulted, demeaned, slandered, and laughed at me. If I had known he wasn’t monogamous, would I have looked at the situation the same? Would I have been sleeping with a man for an entire year and building a life?

      To be consensual, your intentions must align; but the intentions he evoked in me were not consensual. It was fabricated so that he could have a little fun. I’m not going to waste my time explaining to you the misery and length of time this little rapist charade played over me. He should be in prison.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. This law has nothing to do with just a little lie. It has to do with a conartist, whether a man or a women targeting their victims for financial gain. They are master manipulators and it could happen to anyone no matter how smart or educated you are. They have one goal in mind and it’s like a job to them, to deceive their victims to gain control of what they are after. This is no common criminal where you could see the crime being done in front of your face. They are good at hiding their unimaginable crimes for over 10, 20, 30 or more years because the way society looks at these crimes as being nothing but petty and thinking no one is getting hurt. Unfortunately these crimes hurt worse than someone putting a gun to your head. Please read and understand instead of judging otherwise these crimes will never be stopped. Thank You and God Bless You


      1. Marie-

        Thanks for your valuable contribution.

        People often hear me say that it’s not the size of the weapon a person uses, but rather, the impact on the victim that matters.

        A person who uses a small handgun can kill a victim just as if they used an assault weapon. When you’re dead you’re dead. When you’re sexually assaulted, your sexually assaulted. When you’re robbed you’re robbed.

        Criminal code weighs the level of punishment meted out, and ascribes greater weight to crimes involving violence. But it should never ignore a crime simply because the means used by the offender was a lie instead of a gun to the head or a punch in the face.

        Criminal code only recognizes some, not all, forms of non-consensual sex as a crime. Society needs that to change!


        1. Thanks Joyce! My mission is to help victims and also try to explain to people that judge us in terms that they could possibly understand somewhat of the pain we have endured and will forever. I know that unless it happens to them they think it’s a little cheating or something simple like that and just get over it. They will never comprehend the mind of these sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissist, etc. that target their victims without any remorse to mentally cripple us and take everything that was ours and beleive it really is theirs.


  10. Thank you for this information! I found out that the man I had been seeing and engaging in a sexual relationship with for FIVE years was married and had been for almost 30 years. I would never have pursued a relationship of any kind with him had I known…nevertheless an intimate one. Upon finding the truth I felt as though I had been raped. I hadn’t consented to sex with a married man. Now I know that I was correct.


    1. D-

      You’re very welcome.

      I wish I weren’t correct but know that I am, as do all the victims who suffered this defiling crime.

      Are you fortunate enough to live in a state that prosecutes? If not, how ’bout joining 50 Brave Women to enact a law to punish offenders?

      Wishing you all the best!


  11. Can anything be done if the victim suffers from depression and the predator used that against them thereby leaving the victim sick and unable to take care of themselves? The emotional stress has left this person with a heart condition also.


    1. Sounds like your contact has experienced a terrible ordeal!

      As you can see from this blog, states vary widely on how they address this issue.

      It seems that the person you described may be able to make a case for emotional distress which is a tort, civil matter, not a crime. I’d advise them to seek counsel and ask what merit their case would have in their state.

      And by all means, please report back here with that information. I’m sure other followers would be interested in hearing what could be done.

      Good luck in your efforts!



      1. Clinical depression is a very real medical condition. It is not caused by stupidity. But it does take a stupid person to think that it is. It also takes a stupid person to think any kind of emotional abuse is ok.


      2. Rape is exploitation of your reproductive organs. You are foolish to think that this isn’t rape.

        Ignorance causes people to believe that violence is the only way to overcome a person’s self determination. And when you vitiate (might be too big a word for you so I’ll explain…. undermine, nullify) a person’s agreement to sex by treacherously convincing them that they provided consent, you are a villain.

        If you read this blog you will understand that ASSENT and CONSENT are two different things. Not all types of agreement are alike. Assenting to sex, agreeing on the face of it, is not the same thing as consenting to sex, which is REQUIRED in the penal code of EVERY state and jurisdiction.

        Sorry…. you are a dummy! Read! Learn! Develop some emotional empathy for victims.


        1. Joyce,

          Miriam Webster defines “assent” as “to agree or to approve of something (such as an idea or a suggestion) especially after thoughtful consideration”

          The first synonym is consent.
          Just sayin.

          I get that people defrauded like this feel violated… even raped.
          And the fact that they are lied to… whether by commission or omission may be entirely despicable. It may even be, in some cases, represent criminal fraud.

          But to elevate deceit to the same level of criminality as forcible rape grossly undermines the severity of the offense… to even speak of it that way is an insult to those who have had such a heinous act commented upon them.

          What you are roiling against is indeed inlaudable, often despicable, and potentially under existing fraud laws, criminal.

          And to be sure, violation of a trust bestowed of love is the most painful of violations. But CRIMINAL? It is too slippery a slope. Almost every relationship includes some level of deception or non disclosure… most often by omission… but…

          To bring the penal code to bear where someone makes a mistake of trust is grossly over blowing the government’s role of protection, and inviting it’s intrusion into areas of personal affairs where it has no place being.

          I strongly disagree with anyone here that any of these victims are stupid… it is an ignorant insult by a likely heartless person who can’t understand. Anyone with a heart knows that it will lead you sometimes to do things, often aga I not better judgement, that in hindsight seem stupid (even to the person).

          Take pride… a wise man once told “There are smart people ans stupid people. Both do stupid things sometimes…”
          And if you did something stupid of the heart, rejoice in th he fact that you have that… take pride.

          But know as well that much love, even true sincere love, can incude some level of deciept. It’s usually not as black and callous as the cases in point, thank God.
          If you do not accept that fact that people are human and often, for better or worse, don’t tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, then you will likely miss out on many true loves.

          The people in point we’re decievable likely because they were of good heart, which by its very nature leaves them vulnerable.
          But they are, by any measure, the better (metephorical) man for it.

          God bless and keep you all.



          1. You are simply incorrect.

            Miriam Webster does not make the law. Legislators do. Federal Nuremberg Code is pretty specific that there is a difference between “assent” and “consent” under the law. In fact, it insists that children can provide “assent” while their parents or guardians must provide “consent” in medical experimentation.

            Also, Model Penal Code, which has been adopted in many states across the country, is very specific that there is no consent when the offender induces by virtue of force, duress or deception.

            The ItsOnUs Pledge is also very specific…… Non-Consensual Sex Is a Sexual Assault!

            Your concerns about somehow devaluing violent rape are unfounded. The law will not punish violent rape and rape by fraud to the same degree. Degrees are what separate all crimes based on whether violence is or is not present in the commission of the crime. For instance, burglary, which involves violence or the threat of violence doles out a much more severe sentence than “theft” in which no violence takes place. Just because the offender is not violent does not negate that a crime happened.
            Before you rest your case on nonsense, I suggest you read “Combating Romance Scams” so you actually understand what you’re talking about.

            Rape is a generic term that identifies when the self determination of a victim, regarding their reproductive organs, has been violated. There are many ways this takes place. Violence is but one way. And it is, without doubt, the most heinous.

            If self determination over reproductive organs was not the foundation of rape, even violent rape would not be considered rape at all. It would be considered “assault.” We consider it rape because the assault violated reproductive organs without the victims freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement.

            In every case where the person is deprived of freely-given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, the assault, whether violent or not, is a sexual assault, therefore, a more serious crime than other types of assault.

            Other countries readily recognize this crime. You can see some of those cases identified here on this blog. Look at “Cads in the News.” And several states recognize this crime in one form or another. Society needs unilateral rules.

            By the way, many victims who have been violently raped are in total support of this law.

            Bernie Madoff is in jail because all his customers “made the mistake of trust” according to your definition. What you fail to recognize is that no one has the right to take advantage of another person’s trust, period. Not to steal their money, not to get into their pants, and not for immigration status either, the three principles motives for rape by fraud or deception.


        2. The fact that your comments echo some of the horribly sexist laws speaks volumes about your crusade. Rape must involve reproductive organs? Are you like the legislators in Idaho that think men can’t be raped and women can’t rape?


            1. Then you really ought to mind your verbiage. Saying “regarding their reproductive organs” necessarily excludes M-M anal rape… unless I missed something in Biology class.


                1. So you see the inherent sexist nature of saying rape requires a violation of reproductive organs? I’m not splitting hairs, I’m showing you where you are wrong in the way you word things (just like the horribly sexist legislators in Idaho).


          1. Lying does not make for rape. Lying to undermine a person’s self determination over their reproductive organs, just like undermining their self determination over their reproductive organs through violence, drugs or alcohol, constitutes rape.


            1. Anytime someone is lied to in the pursuit of sex, however, can give them grounds for saying their self-determination was undermined. How do you not see that?


                1. While you may fail to recognize it at the end of our exchange, it is possible other people will see the error of that line of thought. If you claim that all lies in the pursuit of sex (and by extension, all lies by omission) constitute rape, then virtually ALL sex can be classified as rape.

                  And please, please, please stop saying, “assault on that person’s reproductive organs”, it’s SUPER sexist (as I have already clearly explained… unless you don’t care how sexist you sound as long as it furthers your cause.)


                  1. Jeffrey- You’re incorrect.

                    All exploitation of a person’s reproductive organs is rape. But if you’d like to add more to it, by including additional regions of a person’s body, in some cases, you wouldn’t be wrong.

                    Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.


                    1. Of course it is. I’M not the one limiting the definition that makes it incorrect, YOU are. By stating that rape must include reproductive organs you are necessarily excluding a lot of ways one can be raped, which, considering the intent of this endeavor, is absolutely asinine. For a published author, you don’t seem to have that firm of a grasp on the English language. Maybe I’ll try an analogy. If I were to say, “I hate all black people.” And you countered with, “You are racist.” To which I replied, “No, I’m not, I hate ALL people which includes black people, and I don’t hate them because they are black, but rather because they are people.” You would hopefully (justifiably) tell me that the limit I put on my own statement changed the meaning of it (and very clearly made me sound like a racist piece of shit). So please, for your own good so you can stop looking like an irrational, man-hating sexist, stop self-limiting your definitions.


    2. Patty-

      They need to secure help!

      Victim blaming is caused from both external and internal sources. The depression results from the defilement the victim feels, And the fact that their mind was manipulated makes it difficult to stop blaming them self and recover their dignity.

      Con artists are good at what they do. Their cons are debilitating. They play with the person’s self esteem and undermine their power.

      The victim will often need a therapist, but one who understands sociopathic manipulation, in order to recover.

      Yes, emotional predators hit hard at their victim’s psyche, and fault them for being debilitated. They are heartless swine! The victim needs to find strength, and assistance, to recover. I hope these blog pages can help!


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