Tag Archives: #CarnalAbuseByDeceit

Invalidation and Shame in Sex Crimes! Laurie’s Tale

When the cause of pain is a sex crime, victims are frequently invalidated by people they count on for support! Reaching out for help can make the victim feel like they’re choking on the turmoil they lived through! Having to justify painful feelings while being discredited heaps pain on top of pain and can cause deep depression! When the weapon that undermined their sexual consent was fraud, invalidation by family and friends is all too typical and common.

A woman I’ll call Laurie contacted me recently for help. She’d been violated by a sexual sadist who got off on hurting her during sex. He’d built up her image of a lasting, loving Continue reading Invalidation and Shame in Sex Crimes! Laurie’s Tale

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New Spelling for “CONSENT” will stand RAPE MENTALITY on it’s ear!

Consent = Freely Given Knowledgeable & Informed Agreement!
Consent = Freely Given Knowledgeable & Informed Agreement!

CONSENT could be the most misunderstood word in the English language! 

Millions of people are harmed by rape every year. And some offenders do not comprehend why or how their behavior constitutes RAPE.

Let’s get it right!

Continue reading New Spelling for “CONSENT” will stand RAPE MENTALITY on it’s ear!

Is the “Ice Princess” ignoring a rape case with 30+ victims?

#JillIcenhower passes the buck on #MarioAntoine case
Jill Icenhower, Chief Trial Attorney, SVU, Kansas City MO

MO SVU Prosecutor Jill Icenhower was very specific about why she wasn’t bringing 2nd Degree Rape charges against Mario Antoine, the man who the Federal Prosecutor called a “Serial Rapist,” for the Continue reading Is the “Ice Princess” ignoring a rape case with 30+ victims?

Diana Montford Interview! Today on YouTube

Watch Joyce’s interview with Diana Montford, the world’s first transgender television journalist, about Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime!

Pre-register for your copy on this link.

How to get away with rape in Missouri! The Mario Antoine case

#MarioAntoine Is he a #SerialRapist

In Kansas City MO, thirty-three year old Mario Antoine is facing 21 federal charges, from cyber-stalking to extortion, for scamming women into sex on the premise that he was a porn videographer and they were auditioning for a part. The FBI handled the investigation, and the Federal Prosecutor was quoted by the Kansas City Star as saying he’s a “serial rapist.” But rape is a state, not a federal crime. Continue reading How to get away with rape in Missouri! The Mario Antoine case

Sex Scammer Faces Fed Prison

scam-alert

Federal Prosecutors described alleged sex scammer, Mario Ambrose Antoine as a “serial rapist” and put a current case of Rape by Fraud center stage in main stream media! The case was filed with 6 complainants but 25 additional woman have stepped forward since the Kansas City Star went public with the information on Monday. If you were harmed by this man, contact the Kansas City MO office of the FBI at 816-512-8200.

Here’s the latest article which  Continue reading Sex Scammer Faces Fed Prison

What do Trump U and Lying to Get Laid have in Common?

 

Eric Schneiderman, NY State Attorney General
Eric Schneiderman, NY State Attorney General

FRAUD!

Reported by Ron Blitzer at DailyNewz, Eric Schneiderman, Attorney General of New York State had this to say about Trump University……

“It’s fraud.  This is straight up fraud! It’s like selling people something you say is a Mercedes and it turns out to be a Volkswagen.  And even Continue reading What do Trump U and Lying to Get Laid have in Common?

Step Up NY!!

nyc

If a romance scam happened to you in NY, please contact me!

Law & Order SVU did a great job of presenting a rape by fraud case this past Wednesday. If you’ve yet to see the episode, here’s the link. You can watch it right here on your computer!

Enough for fiction…. We need real life cases to enact a law! And I believe we can create a solid movement to get it done in New York!

Don’t be shy folks! Send me your story! I’m listening!

Write to me at StopRomanceScams@yahoo.com

 

Penalties- What should they be?

law

Nothing compares to the terror of violent rape. But victims of rape by fraud suffer debilitating loss of self esteem, problems with trust, fear and humiliation. This crime should not go unpunished or unrecognized! Here are my recommendations for penalty:

SEXUAL ASSAULT BY FRAUD

Class E Felony punishable by 0-4 years of incarceration. The minimum sentence should be as follows: 

FIRST OFFENSE (Only)

Sex Offender List: Two Years

Society needs protection from the exploits of the offender. The victim has been sexually assaulted and their psyche will undergo considerable turmoil to recover their dignity and self esteem.  A reasonable amount of time in therapy will be two years. The offender should be cognizant of the harm they created for that same period and suffer a loss of face for the period. Therefore, they should be required to register as a sex offender for two years.

Fine: $25,000.00

  • Therapy: The cost for therapy should be borne by the offender for the two year period. A reasonable expense for that therapy would be $20,000.00; therefore, they should pay a fine in the amount of the therapy  the victim needs.
  • Education: No one can teach another human being to have emotional empathy. It is a condition, and either you have it or you don’t. However, enlightening the offender regarding the laws of “consent” and misuse of the “laws of attraction” will enable them to grasp how they should conduct themselves in the future.  The offender should bare the cost of education in the amount of $5,000.

 Community Service:

The offender committed a crime, and all crimes are not only committed against the victim, but also, against the state.  For the two year period, they should be required to conduct strenuous community service.

Child Support and Custody

No victim of sexual assault by fraud should ever be forced to conduct ongoing contact with their rapist. All cases in which a pregnancy resulted from sexual assault by fraud should require appropriate financial child support by the offender. Full custody should be awarded to the victim and the offender should be granted limited and tightly supervised visitation.

PrisonersAGGRAVATED SEXUAL ASSAULT

Two to five years of incarceration. Appropriate fines, education and Sex Offender Registry.

  • All repeat offenses should be treated as “aggravated.”
  • All cases in which the offender committed additional crimes against the victim such as grand theft, credit card fraud, theft by fraud or immigration fraud should be treated as “aggravated.”

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You can make a huge difference in the battle to combat romance scams!

cover-jerry-4

  • Register today to participate in the launch of Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime!  which is coming on or about November 1. 
  •  You may win a FREE Kindle Fire by being one of its first readers and providing one of its first 20 reviews on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Goodreads.
  • Take the  language for the Sexual Assault by Fraud or False Pretense Law, and the book, to your local legislators.
  • Demand that they enact the law to make a difference in the lives of countless victims!

Rape by Fraud Goes Prime Time! Law & Order

law-order

Addendum: For anyone who missed the airing on Wednesday, here’s the link!

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I almost fell off my chair!

After advocating for almost four years to bring sexual assault by fraud out of the darkness…. there’s a prime time light at the end of that cavernous and lonely tunnel!

I was home relaxing and watching tv. Vice President Biden appeared on this week’s Law & Order and the episode was compelling, but it’s what came afterward that was such a shock! The trailer announced that next week’s episode will address, “If someone lies to have sex Continue reading Rape by Fraud Goes Prime Time! Law & Order

Contamination – What an apt description for sexual assault!

Brock Turner’s victim hit on an exceptionally descriptive term to explain how rape made her feel. Even though she was unconscious during the entire episode, she expressed, in her stirring statement, that she felt “contaminated.” Continue reading Contamination – What an apt description for sexual assault!

Read VICE Today! Is Lying to Get Laid a Form of Sexual Assault?

VICE

Read Neil McArthur’s insightful article on Sexual Assault by Fraud! 

Be sure to enter the conversation!

Here’s the link: http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/is-lying-to-get-laid-a-form-of-sexual-assault

Love Vs. Narcissistic Love- The “empathy” connection

The #Empathy Connection!People who have empathy are capable of unconditional love. That’s the love of forgiveness. Unconditional love affects you at your very core and compels you regardless of how the person looks or behaves.

They can have a bad day, be seriously ill, put on some pounds or Continue reading Love Vs. Narcissistic Love- The “empathy” connection

Are FL Police Under-Serving a Mentally Challenged Rape Victim?

Did #DanielMichaelFarris commit #SexScam?
Daniel Michael Farris, Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office

Florida uses the term “sexual battery” instead of “rape.” And its statutes specifically define that sexual battery takes place when the victim has a mental defect or disease which renders them temporarily or permanently incapable of appraising the nature of his or her conduct.
Continue reading Are FL Police Under-Serving a Mentally Challenged Rape Victim?

Don’t Lie to Get Laid! Happy Truth in Romance Day!

#TruthInRomance Day is even more important than #ValentinesDay!

Why celebrate Truth in Romance Day? 

Mankind’s most basic function is procreation. And the attraction that stimulates our romantic brain chemistry in order for us to mate can begin with the slightest interaction between two people. Our perceptions and impressions of a person can be shaped by fact or fiction, but it all feels the same in the mind of the believer. We’re built to bond and fall in love. Continue reading Don’t Lie to Get Laid! Happy Truth in Romance Day!

Dust-Off! Step 3- How do you heal from a romance scam?

Therapy

From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, I’ll identify each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll cover the letter “S”.

The entire DUST-OFF Plan For Recovery from sexual assault by fraud is revealed in  Carnal Abuse by Deceit, How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape. 

Happy healing and happy Truth in Romance Day to all! #TruthInRomance Day is even more important than #ValentinesDay!

Here’s Step 3……

Seek Counseling or Therapy

You need someone whose advice you can trust! You were drawn to a predator. Recognizing that you should leave the relationship may be difficult for you. Through therapy you may find the strength and path to break off the relationship. You also may need guidance to understand how you became involved with a predator in the first place. Without that knowledge you are likely to make the same mistake again.

If you have parted with the predator already, you may need help to cope with bewildering, overwhelming pain. A therapist who deals with Complex PTSD can help you. A mental health clinic that provides therapy at a reduced rate might fill your need if you can’t afford a private practitioner.

The entire Dust-Off! plan for recovery is included in Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Click the title to purchase your copy. 

Dust-Off! Step 2- How do you heal from a romance scam?

HEALING

From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, I’ll identify each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll deal with the letter “U”.

The entire DUST-OFF Plan For Recovery from sexual assault by fraud is revealed in  Carnal Abuse by Deceit, How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape. 

#TruthInRomance Day is even more important than #ValentinesDay!Happy healing and happy Truth in Romance Day to all!

 

 

Undue pressure is counterproductive to healing! 

Understand that healing Is NOT a return to your former self! Every experience we encounter enables us to grow.

Often people who have been damaged believe the end goal is to wash away all remembrance of pain and return to the person they once were, but there is no going back. The expectation of recovering your former self can serve to depress you because it is an unobtainable goal and will be a constant disappointment. Once you can take strength from having lived through your ordeal, you’re on your way toward recovery.

Time and distance will ease your pain. And if you can grieve the loss of your innocence, the loss of the person you were, you can put it behind you. You are wiser now. Employ that wisdom to keep yourself safe from predators in the future.

You will often hear the concept of “forgiveness” used as a means to overcome the effects of wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not mean having to forget what happened or excuse it. Rather, it means accepting that it happened to you. A morally disordered person will not care in the least whether you forgive them or not, so don’t forgive them for their sake, forgive them for yours.

We often keep anger close to our hearts when we have suffered gross injustice. Doing so erodes our own sense of well-being by focusing us on pain and creating hyper-vigilance. We need to refocus ourselves on the good things in our lives in order to make room for joy to find its way back in. It is difficult to put anger aside. It takes considerable practice, but it gets easier in time as life takes on new meanings and the episode you survived fades into your past.

The entire Dust-Off! plan for recovery is included in Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Click the title to purchase your copy. 

DUST-OFF! Step 1- How do you heal from a romance scam?

The #DustOff Plan for recovery from #RomanceScams

 

 

 

From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, I’ll identify each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll start with the letter “D”.

The entire Dust-Off Plan For Recovery from sexual assault by fraud is revealed in  Carnal Abuse by Deceit, How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape. 

Happy healing and happy Truth in Romance Day to all! #TruthInRomance Day is even more important than #ValentinesDay!

Here’s step one…….

Don’t Shame or Blame Yourself!

Predators excel at making victims feel responsible for their harmful behavior. Don’t! No one has the right to expect you to be perfect, not even you. No one has the right to harm you either emotionally or physically for your imperfections or for any other reason.

Be alert to gas-lighting which is a manipulative and common ploy of predators. They will deliberately upset you, then fault you for being upset. Their intent is to make you doubt yourself or to put your “upset” reaction under a microscope for others to observe, out of context. A predator can depress you to the extent that you begin to doubt your sanity, and cause others to do so as well.

Recognize that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time when you happened into their space. They’ve made you wiser to the concept that fundamentally cruel people actually exist. You will not be as naïve and easy to snare the next time you enter a predator’s lair.

Forgive yourself. You didn’t know they were lying when you fell in love with them. No one lies by accident. They deliberately set out to fool you. Do not let their immorality strip you of your self-worth.

Write a letter to yourself reminding you of all your lovable and virtuous characteristics.

  • Store your letter where it’s easily accessible.
  • Read that letter at least three times each day for one week.
  • For the following month, before you dress each day and before you go to sleep each night, read it again.
  • Hang onto the letter and go back to it whenever an encounter makes you doubt yourself.

The entire Dust-Off! plan for recovery is included in Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Click the title to purchase your copy. 

Brock Turner- Lessons Learned

Brock Allen Turner, Covicted Sex Offender
Brock Allen Turner, Convicted Sex Offender

In three separate studies, one in the Midwest, one in CA and one in Canada, separated by 30 years, men were asked, “If you could force a woman to have sex with you, and you knew you wouldn’t get caught, would you do it.?” Consistently, over 30% of the participants said “Yes.” Then they were asked, “If you could rape a woman, knowing you could get away with it, would you do it?” The number of “Yes” responses dropped to approximately 13%. Obviously, 17% of the participants had no idea they were simply being asked the same question using different wording.

Why so many words for “rape?”

Today, states have adopted a variety of words for “rape” in order to get the defilement of non-consensual sex across to their populations…. sexual assault, sexual battery, sexual misconduct, etc. They seem to be throwing the baby out with the bath water; however, because the public doesn’t grasp that it’s all the same horrid defilement of sexual sanctity….. just using different words.  I even saw a recent argument that Brock Turner didn’t rape the woman, he “only” sexually assaulted her….. so his punishment shouldn’t be so harsh!

Consent. Do we really need to say more? 

The principle premise for all sex crimes, no matter what you call them, is lack of consent. And a great many folks don’t really know what “consent” means. It doesn’t mean that you nodded your head and said “yes” when someone tricked you into doing so. Nor does it mean that you didn’t object because you were too incapacitated at the time, or froze because you were terrorized.

Most folks, including legislators and police officers don’t clearly understand that there’s a cavernous gap between “assenting” and “consenting” to sex. When you nod you head, “yes,” if the person has tricked you, drugged you, intoxicated you, or pursued sex with you upon finding you in those conditions – or unconscious –  they know full well that you’re not “consenting” to sex.

Violence is an aggressive, aggravated form of rape, which deserves the utmost penalty. But there are quiet, insidious, covert forms of rape as well. All should be punished. Consent means that you are fully knowledgeable, informed and voluntarily cooperating. Model Penal Code distinctly tells us that consent that is “tricked” from us is not “voluntary.”  Any sex act performed without consent is a crime.

Not all sex crimes can be prosecuted; not because they didn’t happen, but because there is insufficient proof for a conviction. But whether there is or is not a sufficient body of proof to try the case, the offender committed a criminal act and knows that they did so.  Our penal codes in every state should be consistent in dealing with and prosecuting sexual defilement.

Nazi Germany and Consent

Nuremberg Trials
Nuremberg Trials

The Nuremberg Trials from World War II gave us a clear understanding of what “consent” truly means. I have included the explanation in (soon-to-be-released) Don’t Swallow That Catfish Hook. What follows is how “consent” should be explained by the penal codes of every state. This explanation has been adapted directly from the Nuremberg Code appearing in Federal regulation that was established due to medical experiments conducted on concentration camp prisoners. It guides our knowledge of both “assent” and “consent” today.

Assent – Superficial agreement which is given “on the face of it.” Assent provides acquiescence and compliance, but lacks the characteristics of being informed and knowledgeable about the action taking place. Example:, a child who is not yet the age of “reason” can only provide “assent,” but their parents are required to provide “consent” on their behalf.
Consent – A person providing consent must have legal capacity to give consent; should be so situated as to be able to exercise free power of choice without the intervention of any element of force, fraud, deceit, duress, over-reaching, or other ulterior form of constraint or coercion; and should have sufficient knowledge and comprehension of the sexual partner and action taking place to enable her or him to make an understood and enlightened decision.

Brock Turner’s father showed us exactly why Brock Turner is a sex offender!

Dan Turner, Brock’s father, never taught his son the defilement of rape because he failed to understand it himself. He wrote to the judge to request leniency for his son who was convicted of  sexually assaulting an unconscious woman.

  • His minimization of the harm the victim endured in his statement that his son shouldn’t  have to go to prison “for 20 minutes of action,” reflects a grossly flawed misconception about the impacts of violating a person’s sexual sanctity.
  • He also stated: “He has no prior criminal history and has never been violent to anyone including his actions on the night of Jan 17th 2015.” Somehow, in Mr. Turner’s eyes, violence is the only harm one person can inflict on another. Defiling a person by touching their genitals without their permission is inconsequential to him. I wonder what he’d say if this happened to his daughter.

An  absurd statement also came from Brock Turner’s long-time friend, Leslie Rasmussen, drummer for the band, Good English. “Rape on campus isn’t always because people are rapists,” she said. She expressed concern that alcohol changed people’s behaviors and made them do things they otherwise would not do. Perhaps Brock Turner’s case can serve as a warning to college students who think drinking and partying are benign behaviors…. just fun and “normal” entertainment.

When it comes to sex, every human being  on the planet is responsible to only engage with people they haven’t tricked, overwhelmed, or taken advantage of. What is so hard to understand about that? People who do so are, in fact, rapists. A person’s life can change in an instant when they lose control of themselves and harm others while in that condition.  That’s why drunks who kill people in DUIs go to jail. People who rape in that condition should go to jail as well.

For further details about the law that should be enacted in every state to properly identify the difference between “assenting” and “consenting” to sex, be sure to read Don’t Swallow That Catfish Hook when it’s released in July. Register for your copy by clicking this link. There’s no obligation and you may actually win a FREE Kindle Fire by doing so!

Is rape by fraud an insult to “real” rape victims?

It was Halloween, 1987.

My son was six years old and attending a private school on the Upper Westside in NYC. His teacher had arranged a little party for the class at lunchtime, and I’d offered to bring cupcakes. They were a mixture of chocolate and vanilla with bright orange butter frosting. I recall every detail because of what happened to me on the way there. Continue reading Is rape by fraud an insult to “real” rape victims?