Tag Archives: #Catfish

The 3 Primary Motives Behind Romance Scams, and why it’s so hard to get justice

The FBI tells us that Romance Scams are the most common form of fraud in today’s society. And I don’t use the word “fraud” loosely. As most of you who’ve read my material know, lies only constitute a crime when the victim suffers harm. ‘Til then, lies are just lies.

When the offender crosses that line in the sand that constitutes injury to the other party, they are actually committing a crime. Their Continue reading The 3 Primary Motives Behind Romance Scams, and why it’s so hard to get justice

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UK’s Extreme Solution to Combat Sex Crimes

 

Geoffrey-Ball

Cited as “Draconian but necessary,” a Sexual Harm Prevention Order (SHPO) was recently issued against 44 year old UK electrician, Geoffrey Ball. Ball had been found guilty of sexual offenses toward women and is no longer allowed to have a relationship of any sort with a woman, without express permission by the police.

Such orders should be available to US authorities in order to prevent Continue reading UK’s Extreme Solution to Combat Sex Crimes

Are FL Police Under-Serving a Mentally Challenged Rape Victim?

Did #DanielMichaelFarris commit #SexScam?
Daniel Michael Farris, Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office

Florida uses the term “sexual battery” instead of “rape.” And its statutes specifically define that sexual battery takes place when the victim has a mental defect or disease which renders them temporarily or permanently incapable of appraising the nature of his or her conduct.
Continue reading Are FL Police Under-Serving a Mentally Challenged Rape Victim?

Dust-Off! Step 5- How to Heal From a Romance Scam!

RUN

From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, read each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll cover the letter “O”. Continue reading Dust-Off! Step 5- How to Heal From a Romance Scam!

Dust-Off! Step 3- How do you heal from a romance scam?

Therapy

From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, I’ll identify each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll cover the letter “S”.

The entire DUST-OFF Plan For Recovery from sexual assault by fraud is revealed in  Carnal Abuse by Deceit, How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape. 

Happy healing and happy Truth in Romance Day to all! #TruthInRomance Day is even more important than #ValentinesDay!

Here’s Step 3……

Seek Counseling or Therapy

You need someone whose advice you can trust! You were drawn to a predator. Recognizing that you should leave the relationship may be difficult for you. Through therapy you may find the strength and path to break off the relationship. You also may need guidance to understand how you became involved with a predator in the first place. Without that knowledge you are likely to make the same mistake again.

If you have parted with the predator already, you may need help to cope with bewildering, overwhelming pain. A therapist who deals with Complex PTSD can help you. A mental health clinic that provides therapy at a reduced rate might fill your need if you can’t afford a private practitioner.

The entire Dust-Off! plan for recovery is included in Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Click the title to purchase your copy. 

Dust-Off! Step 2- How do you heal from a romance scam?

HEALING

From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, I’ll identify each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll deal with the letter “U”.

The entire DUST-OFF Plan For Recovery from sexual assault by fraud is revealed in  Carnal Abuse by Deceit, How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape. 

#TruthInRomance Day is even more important than #ValentinesDay!Happy healing and happy Truth in Romance Day to all!

 

 

Undue pressure is counterproductive to healing! 

Understand that healing Is NOT a return to your former self! Every experience we encounter enables us to grow.

Often people who have been damaged believe the end goal is to wash away all remembrance of pain and return to the person they once were, but there is no going back. The expectation of recovering your former self can serve to depress you because it is an unobtainable goal and will be a constant disappointment. Once you can take strength from having lived through your ordeal, you’re on your way toward recovery.

Time and distance will ease your pain. And if you can grieve the loss of your innocence, the loss of the person you were, you can put it behind you. You are wiser now. Employ that wisdom to keep yourself safe from predators in the future.

You will often hear the concept of “forgiveness” used as a means to overcome the effects of wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not mean having to forget what happened or excuse it. Rather, it means accepting that it happened to you. A morally disordered person will not care in the least whether you forgive them or not, so don’t forgive them for their sake, forgive them for yours.

We often keep anger close to our hearts when we have suffered gross injustice. Doing so erodes our own sense of well-being by focusing us on pain and creating hyper-vigilance. We need to refocus ourselves on the good things in our lives in order to make room for joy to find its way back in. It is difficult to put anger aside. It takes considerable practice, but it gets easier in time as life takes on new meanings and the episode you survived fades into your past.

The entire Dust-Off! plan for recovery is included in Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Click the title to purchase your copy. 

How to Catch a Catfish in the Act!

Selfie cropped

So you’ve found a new hottie on the internet! And (s)he’s saying all the right things! You’re beginning to feel like they’re the real deal….. charming, witty, attentive, sincere, cute. They truly seem to have their act together.

But how can you know if their photo’s for real?

Here are a couple of quick tips…….

Tip #1- Ask for a selfie containing something specific

They’ve told you about their pet dog, Bruno, or their gorgeous view of the river out their living room window. Ask for a selfie with whatever it is. People who scam others with false photos can’t comply with that request. If they drop you like a hot potato, you’ll know why.

Rather than sharing your email address, ask them to post the picture to their e-dating profile.

Tip #2- Catfish often scam with other people’s photos

You can discover if their photo is really theirs by using Google Reverse Image Search. Click the link for directions for your browser. In addition, you can see how long the photo has been used.

If they claim it’s a recent picture, but it’s been floating around on the internet for the past 5 years, you’ll find out.

Tune in tomorrow for: Help catch this real-live catfish!

………And not the kind with fins!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is rape by fraud an insult to “real” rape victims?

It was Halloween, 1987.

My son was six years old and attending a private school on the Upper Westside in NYC. His teacher had arranged a little party for the class at lunchtime, and I’d offered to bring cupcakes. They were a mixture of chocolate and vanilla with bright orange butter frosting. I recall every detail because of what happened to me on the way there. Continue reading Is rape by fraud an insult to “real” rape victims?

Alleged Catfish Arrested Today in New Jersey- Haissam Fostok

Haissam Fostok arrested for Catfish heist, March 23, 2016 in Passaic NJ
Haissam Fostok arrested for Catfish heist, March 23, 2016 in Passaic NJ

Forty-five year old Haissam Fostok turned himself over to the police in Passaic County New Jersey  today for crimes committed by catfishing a New Jersey victim.  He was charged with 2nd Degree Theft by Deception, 3rd Degree Theft by Deception (for credit card Continue reading Alleged Catfish Arrested Today in New Jersey- Haissam Fostok

Bravo India! Miscarriage without consent!

Jagdishpur, Uttar Pradesh, India
Jagdishpur, Uttar Pradesh, India

Jagdishpur,  India- According to The Times of India, the wife of a man identified as  Moimuddin, turned-in her husband to the authorities for defrauding another woman for sex. She reported the elicit affair when she learned that her husband had deceived a widow, for two years, into thinking he was eligible and Continue reading Bravo India! Miscarriage without consent!

Beware NJ! Mass. rape case Dr. has moved to your state!

Ho Yin (Aaron) Shiu- arrested for indecent assault and rape
Ho Yin (Aaron) Shiu- arrested for indecent assault and rape

A hearing related to a rape case will go before the courts of Massachusetts on April 27th.

Dr. Ho Yin “Aaron” Shiu, a U Mass spine doctor who took a Hippocratic oath to do no harm is on trial for sexually assaulting his 42 year old, female patient. Shiu, a graduate of Rutgers University who practiced at U Mass Hospital and AdCare, was charged in Worcester MA with indecent  assault and battery and rape. His attorney’s defense strategy? There was no force; “fraud is not force.” And the victim did not resist.  Continue reading Beware NJ! Mass. rape case Dr. has moved to your state!

Catfish Law Featured on Mogul

Are #Catfish #Romance #scams against the law?
Catfish Romance Scams

Catfish are swindlers who trick people into romance. They post false information on the internet to get you hooked. Sometimes, the victim never meets the offender, even though the relationship can Continue reading Catfish Law Featured on Mogul

Revenge Porn Takes Center Stage! You can help!

#revengeporn laws exist in 26 statesCatfish profile victims often experience revenge porn. Intimate pictures are tools predators use to inhibit their prey from stepping forward when the jig is up! Twenty six states in the US, Continue reading Revenge Porn Takes Center Stage! You can help!

The Science Behind Love Is Revealed

The Addiction of Romance
The Addiction of Romance

An online resource produced a decisive info-graphic explaining exactly how our brain chemistry  attracts and attaches us to our love interests. It describes everything from the Continue reading The Science Behind Love Is Revealed

Blurring the lines through the prism of Narcissism

prism

A narcissist will not see their behavior through the reality of cause and effect. Instead, they will use a distorted prism to blur the lines.  Continue reading Blurring the lines through the prism of Narcissism

Don’t Miss It! Tonight, Joyce Is Featured on Bonnie Kaye’s Radio Show!

#BonnieKaye and #StraightWives Radio ShowJoyce Short will be the featured guest tonight on Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Blog Talk Radio show. The discussion begins at 9 PM, Eastern Time.

Bonnie has devoted years toward advocating for women who find themselves married to gay men. Her personal advice and support has enabled countless women to combat the sense of betrayal and defilement they feel as a result of a marriage sham.

If you’d like to comment, ask a question or speak with either Bonnie or Joyce on the air, here’s the call-in number, and the link for the broadcast:

646-716-4893

Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Radio Show

When you call in, please be sure to turn the sound off on your computer to prevent feedback. 

Legislators of NY State Introduced to Catfishing!

#Catfish #Scams are #epidemic on the #internet #StevenHumanick #RiccardoFerrari

Catfish (Catphish) Profiles, false personation in e-dating, Facebook, and other internet descriptions, to embroil victims in romance scams, is now part of the permanent record of NY State’s Assembly. On October 21st, I provided testimony to create awareness and, hopefully, plant seeds that will bring about change. Continue reading Legislators of NY State Introduced to Catfishing!

Are you a NY Senior who’s been Catfished?

#selfhelp for relationships with a sociopath

Tomorrow is an important day for CATFISH PROFILE SURVIVORS in NY!

The NY State Assembly Standing Committee on Consumer Affairs and Protection, along with the Assembly Standing Committee on Aging and the Subcommittee on Consumer Fraud Protection, are holding a public hearing on scams against seniors.

You don’t have to guess twice about what I’ll be addressing!  Continue reading Are you a NY Senior who’s been Catfished?

Criminal Intent- How It Applies in Sexual Assault by Fraud

#CriminalIntent requires knowledge that you are conducting a #crime
Criminal Intent requires knowledge that you’re conducting a crime

I’m sure the issue Robert Hume raised in his comment elsewhere on this blog is one that troubles many people who hear about sexual assault by fraud, so I thought I’d deal with it in a post. Robert’s words offer considerable insight…..

And what is more I find your assertions offensive! Through your argument you are calling me, my brother, my mother, two of my best friends, and several of my colleges, rapists. How dare you!? I am outraged at such an accusation. This offends me deeply.

It’s my belief that Robert is stating that he thinks all these folks lie to defraud people of sex. If I’m misunderstanding, I apologize, and I’ll quickly correct what I’m saying.

Nobody likes being shamed!

President Barak Obama with Gov. Jan Brewer (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari, File)
President Barak Obama with Gov. Jan Brewer (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari, File)

I certainly don’t and I can’t imagine why anyone else would either, unless they have some kinky quirks!  Shaming people is not my intent when I point out that defrauding a person of sex is a sexual assault. My interest is to protect victims, not shame offenders, even though the offender’s actions are, indeed, shameful.

A major factor in the commission of a crime is “Criminal Intent.” If society has yet to deem it a crime, you certainly couldn’t be perceived as a criminal for conducting yourself in a specific manner.

I think Robert’s comment shows that he does, in fact, now recognize his past behavior was shameful, and he’s tranferring the blame for the shame he feels on me, for bringing it to his attention.  I certainly did not make him do the things he did in the past that he may regret in retrospect.

Tryon Edwards, a theologian who died before the 1900s once said:

Right actions for the future are the best apology for bad actions in the past.

Laws change

handcuffsSome laws get tossed aside, and new ones get enacted. We don’t go backwards in time to throw people in jail because they committed an offense that wasn’t considered a crime at the time of their actions. Once a crime is established, however, the concept of “ignorance is no excuse,” applies because society has recognized the behavior as indecent. And whether you knew it was indecent or not, society had determined it was indecent, and holds all its members to specific standards.

Penal code simply codifies what behaviors will be penalized and what won’t. Just because something does not appear in criminal code does not make it right. Behaviors that appear in criminal code tomorrow are the same behaviors that may not appear in criminal code today. Again, just because they’re not currently punished, does not make them right or decent.

Tomorrow’s a new day

I believe that society will wake up and understand the gross harm that the behavior of defrauding someone for sex causes them.  And I’m willing to go on record about my views in order to create a change and prevent further harm. Society does not evolve without the efforts of those who bring about that change.

I hope that by this post, and other discussions that go on throughout society, Robert becomes more aware of the significant harm created by lying to someone to induce sex,  and that he’ll refrain from doing so in the future. I also hope he’ll discuss this issue with the folks around him because it appears they could use some enlightenment!

BTW- This is my 100th post on this blog. I thank everyone who’s contributed thus far to getting the message across about the harm in defrauding people for sex.

 

Gad Saad- You can’t be both- New Basher List

There are two kinds of people in the world- sexually honest ones and sexual liars.

Liars don’t lie all the time….  just when you have something they want, and they won’t get it unless they mislead you. That’s robbery by fraud if it’s an asset, and sexual assault by fraud if it’s your body. They can turn their deceit off and on at will. Continue reading Gad Saad- You can’t be both- New Basher List