Tag Archives: #RapebyFraud

Joyce on BlogTalkRadio- Dr. Brenda Wade Modern Love

Dr. Brenda Wade- Modern Love

Log onto BlogTalkRadio to hear Dr. Brenda Wade and I discuss how the same neurotransmitters that got you hooked into a toxic relationship can help you unhook and reclaim your life! Click this link.

You can also secure “20 Ways to Combat Sorrow and Loss Around the Holidays” by using this link.

I sincerely hope that these efforts help you have your happiest holiday season ever!

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Doug Jones’s Victory Strikes at the Heart of Sexual Assault!

Like a magnet, yesterday’s senate vote in Alabama glued sexual assault victims to their news sources to watch the count unfold! I too rode the peaks and valleys with mixed joy and bewilderment as the results seesawed back and forth. Jones’s ultimate victory restored my faith in mankind.

It’s hard to fathom how voters could fail to recognize the horror of Roy Moore’s behavior and put their selfish interests above morality! It shows how little concern and recognition they have for the sexual sanctity of others. What we can see in the results, a narrow margin – 49.9% vs. 48.4% – is the completely self-serving narcissism with which a large swath of society conducts itself.

The message behind the vote

Looking at those figures, it’s not difficult to understand why sexual assault is so rampant in our nation. The problem is exponentially worse than the numbers indicate because sexual predators don’t simply harm one person. They commit serial acts of defilement. Someone who is blind to the harm of sexual assault is capable of sexual assault. The Alabama vote shows us just how pervasive the problem actually is.

Donald Trump gave us an important glimpse into his soul, or lack thereof. Even though he initially supported Moore’s rival, Luther Strange, for the Republican nomination, he shifted his support to Moore despite the horrid allegations of sexual assault against minors. His behavior clearly demonstrated how people who support sexual predators can be sexual predators themselves. Just as Roy Moore should be investigated, so should Donald Trump. He’s proved, over and over again, that he is unfit for the office of the Presidency. His support behind Moore reveals the sinister underpinnings of his soul, and his ruthless ability to cast morality aside for his personal agenda.

We have a bigger enemy than ISIS in our midst. It’s the grotesque immorality of Trump and his supporters who are imploding our society’s values from the inside without firing a single shot or hurling a single bomb.

#MeTooRallyNYC- A frozen moment of success!

#MeTooRallyNYC #FGKIA

December 9, 2017- Not even the driving snow and freezing temps could deter dozens of sexual assault survivors from rallying in solidarity in NYC. Staging the event directly across the street from the Trump International Hotel, added a distinct backdrop of irony and inspired signs calling out Trump as “Rapist-in-Chief,” and more. Despite the cold, I was honored and proud to be among the speakers to voice support for the cause.

Sonia Ossorio, President, NOW, NY State

Sonia Ossorio, the NY State President of NOW, delivered a heartfelt plea that #MeToo will soon become #NotMeToo. Shani Harris, Elizabeth McLaughlin and other sexual assault survivors soulfully moved the crowd with their personal stories.

Rally Organizers Connie Vasquez and Annmarie Haubert

Organizers, Connie Vasquez and Annmarie Haubert, planned the event as a means to bring sexual assault survivors together in a shared moment of solidarity and support. Because victims are often invalidated and harshly judged, being able to relate their stories to others who shared similar nightmares, can provide tremendous relief and a welcome feeling of acceptance. With hands so cold they could no longer turn pages, they passed the microphone from one speaker to the next.

Assembly Member Rebecca Seawright contributed her message of hope:

METOO is WETOO; the movement has touched each and every one of us and has transformed society. We will NEVER go back but continue to move ahead for progress and equality in all spheres of life.

I pray my explanation about the need for new penal code language fell on supportive ears. While #MeToo exposed the problem, society desperately needs to enact the solution! We can only hold people accountable for violating a victim’s consent, if our laws make the definition of consent crystal clear. Instead our laws are a mish mosh of absurdly differing language and expectations. And those laws often convey what consent is not, rather than what it is: freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA.

Coupling an accurate consent doctrine together with the simple but important language endorsed by President Obama and Vice President Biden in the ItsOnUs Pledge, Non-consensual sex is sexual assault, will put teeth into the laws that protect society, and change rape mentality, now, and for generations to come.

Don’t wait. Don’t leave it up to the next person. Pick up the phone to your legislators. Tell them to adopt the consent doctrine and the definition of sexual assault from the ItsOnUs Pledge today!

Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement!
Non-consensual sex is sexual assault!

Consent = Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement!

Here’s the speech I delivered for the awesome December 9th gathering:

“What a beautiful sea of brave faces! Brave because you dared to publish your #MeToo stories that brought sexual assault out of the shadows and into the daylight. And brave for openly standing together in solidarity, in this driving snow, to add power to all the #MeToo voices that came forward.

But we’re not through being brave! And I’m going to ask you for one more act of bravery……

While the #MeToo effort shines a light on this wide spread problem, it doesn’t fix it. Only enacting new laws to fight sexual assault will do that!

Generations ago, our nation fought a bloody war that embattled brother against brother. But the Civil War is not what actually stopped slavery. Enacting new laws that made slavery a crime so overwhelmingly changed the public’s conscience, that today we wonder how slavery could ever have existed in a moral society. And that’s what we need to do with sexual assault!

I’ve researched the laws from state to state. And what I’ve found is a mish mosh of inconsistency. Even the concept of “consent” is either not defined or poorly defined in penal codes around our nation. How can we possibly expect to lock up people like Harvey Weinstein, Roy Moore, Bill Cosby and Donald Trump when, in most states, consent is defined by what it’s not instead of what it is!

Sexual predators want us to believe that every form of agreement carries the same weight. But nothing could be further from the truth! Consent is NOT the only form of agreement. But it’s the form of agreement that’s required in ALL sexual contact!

There’s acquiescence, like when you’re 5 foot 2 and 110 pounds soaking wet, and you’re assaulted by someone 6 foot tall, 225 pounds, and you freeze like a butterball turkey because you’re afraid to anger them and make the problem worse than it already is. I know, because that’s exactly what happened to me!

There’s assent, like when you’re the sole support of 2 kids and your boss corners you by the water cooler, gropes your breasts, and you say nothing because losing your job is simply not your option!

But neither of these forms of “agreement” rise to the level of “consent, which is “freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement,” FGKIA!

President Obama (and yes, he’s still my President) and Vice President Biden endorsed the ItsOnUs Pledge with very special language that together with FGK&IA, can turn the tables on rape mentality. They said, “Non-consensual sex is sexual assault.” But you won’t see those words stated anywhere in penal code, anywhere in our nation. We need to change that! We have to establish what sexual assault is, and we have to establish what consent is to bring rape mentality to an end!

So what’s the brave thing I’m going to ask you to do today?

Call your legislators! Make sure they know you want “Non-consensual sex is a sexual assault” and “Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement,” signed into the laws in your state, right away! Light up their switchboards! Illuminate the path to stop rape mentality today!

So let me hear you! FGK&IA, sign it into law today!
FGK&IA, sign it into law today!”

#MeToo- Break your silence! Opportunity knocks!


Alyssa Milano’s #MeToo twitter concept is brilliant! Now lets give it a boost by describing the nightmare you survived! Here are the parameters….

If you were harmed by a sexual predator… please tell your story in the comments section! Let the world understand the pain you’ve suffered and how these dregs of society operate!

If they were charged with a crime, or if a judgement was issued against them, including a judgement for monetary damages in a civil action…. post it, AND their name, loud and clear. If there is no “public record” of their behavior, please post your story but keep their name to yourself. If you ultimately bring action against them, or find out that someone else has succeeded in doing so, come back and tell me. I will display their name and the judgement against them on this site.

We do not have criminal laws across the nation that prevent sexual assault. And we do not have a police force that even cares whether people are victimized. They only recognize sexual assaults that involve violence by a stranger. If you read my post on Commander Rose of the 94th Precinct,

NYPD Captain, Peter Rose
you’ll see those words coming directly out of his mouth. The police do not comprehend how devastating it is to be harmed by someone you trusted like a boss, a family member, your date, etc. They do not get the double-whammy that mauls your psyche when you are defiled by someone you know!

Here’s the thing…. I don’t want anyone charged with defamation. Predators do not want the world to know and will do what they can to silence you. Once a judgement is made, their information is public record and can be disclosed. They cannot prevent the public display of public information.

Until we get real and significant laws to stop sexual predators, you can still seek justice! Many of you needed to secure therapy in order to overcome the harm they committed against you. The cost of that therapy should not come out of YOUR pocket. Others were not only hoodwinked into sex, but also into monetary losses. Use small claims court or pro se court to recover your losses. Once you have that judgement, we can post it here so the world will know.

Don’t let someone who harmed you get away “Scott free.” They will keep on harming more and more victims! Exposure can put the brakes on their behavior!

And if you haven’t done so already, get your copy of “Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime!” and demand that your legislators read it and enact laws that wake up society to what consent really is, “Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement.” Anything less than that, to conduct sex, is rape!

Invalidation and Shame in Sex Crimes! Laurie’s Tale

When the cause of pain is a sex crime, victims are frequently invalidated by people they count on for support! Reaching out for help can make the victim feel like they’re choking on the turmoil they lived through! Having to justify painful feelings while being discredited heaps pain on top of pain and can cause deep depression! When the weapon that undermined their sexual consent was fraud, invalidation by family and friends is all too typical and common.

A woman I’ll call Laurie contacted me recently for help. She’d been violated by a sexual sadist who got off on hurting her during sex. He’d built up her image of a lasting, loving Continue reading Invalidation and Shame in Sex Crimes! Laurie’s Tale

Little Wonder Police Rarely Charge for Sexual Assault!

Lehav 433 Major General Roni Rittman

The right to sexually exploit another human being seems perfectly natural to much of society…. even the police! And even people at the very top of the police force can be the culprits!

Isreal’s Police Maj. General Roni Rittman, who currently heads the corruption probes underway against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, was charged with kissing a female officer without her Continue reading Little Wonder Police Rarely Charge for Sexual Assault!

Gayle Newland- Why sentencing is so important!

Gayle Newland- found guilty of Sexual Assault by Penetration

In Manchester, UK, according to the Guardian, Gayle Newland will hear her fate, for a second time, on July 20th. She posed as a man, Kye Fortune, to seduce a woman through an on-line scam. Ironically, she was also friends with the woman, who knew her as a female, not as her male alter-ego. A second jury returned a guilty verdict on June 29th. 

Continue reading Gayle Newland- Why sentencing is so important!

To All the Single Moms Who Are Also Dads- #HappyFathersDay!

The structure, the nurture, the pain and the joys,

Supporting the growth for our girls and our boys.

Relentless the effort keeping danger at bay,

Sleepless nights, cherished days, they’ve all landed our way.

 

We struggle, we achieve, and yes, sometimes we fail,

In the eyes of our children, who expect a smooth sail.

But we pray that they’ll notice, we have given them our all,

Building character, instilling love….. enabling them to stand tall.

On this day of thanking fathers, congratulations for all you do!

The mothers who are fathers deserve heartfelt recognition too! 

Kentucky: The Grass Is Not All That’s Blue!

Kentucky Derby

I received the following message from a very intelligent Blue Grass State resident (with a PhD.) We’ll call her Pamela.  She discovered she was hitched to a narcissist after a 40 year marriage that produced four children.

People often ask me how long a narcissist can keep up their charade. Continue reading Kentucky: The Grass Is Not All That’s Blue!

Good News/Bad News: New Rape Bill in MA

Massachusetts Representative, Kate Hogan

Middlesex Rep. Kate Hogan submitted a new sexual assault by fraud bill to the MA House of Representative in January. The House floor debate takes place this Fall. Continue reading Good News/Bad News: New Rape Bill in MA

Convicted! Mario Antoine- Sex Scammer!

Mario Antoine- locked up for 10 years!

On Friday, 5/12/17, in Kansas City MO, Mario  Antoine, sex scammer, pleaded guilty. Both his and the federal attorney agreed to a sentence of 10 years, as he pleaded guilty to wire fraud and avoided up to 60 years confinement on all charges.

Antoine induced women into sex by claiming to audition them as porn stars. Although he’d admitted to victimizing 10 or more Continue reading Convicted! Mario Antoine- Sex Scammer!

Not Just Another Sexual Assault Statistic!

This heartfelt letter was sent to me from a woman who’d like to remain anonymous. She correctly refers to herself as “Not Just Another Statistic!” 

“I was triggered reading an article and I’m pretty numb.

I don’t know…. all this time I wanted to make myself feel in the wrong, nasty, disgusting because of what happened. And then I Continue reading Not Just Another Sexual Assault Statistic!

#Stealthing Lacks Consent!

Recent news coverage casts a huge light on “Stealthing;” stripping off the condom during intercourse, without the partner’s consent.

From the Huffington Post to Fox News and beyond, articles are popping up across the media landscape, and all exemplify why broadcasting the actual meaning of  “consent” is so vital!  Continue reading #Stealthing Lacks Consent!

The Wealth Manager Romance Scam- Lessons Learned

We think of Wealth Managers as highly educated, intelligent people. But that preconceived image helps unethical con artists carry out apalling harm!

The “Wealth Manager Scam” is one of the most potent of all extortions taking place through on-line dating! Offenders stir the romantic brain chemistry of their victims with flowers, affection, and talk of love, while plying them for details about their investments. Continue reading The Wealth Manager Romance Scam- Lessons Learned

Support CA Rape Survivors Bill Today!

Update-

Congratulations to the residents and legislators of California! This bill was approved yesterday. BTW- Yesterday, when I spoke to someone in the office of Asm. Reggie Jones-Sawyer, she told me the phones have been ringing off the hook! Good work everyone!

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Tomorrow, March 29th, the California Legislature will vote on the “Rape Survivor’s Civil Rights Bill,” AB1312, introduced by Assembly Members Gonzalez, Fletcher and Berman.

Continue reading Support CA Rape Survivors Bill Today!

The 3 Primary Motives Behind Romance Scams, and why it’s so hard to get justice

The FBI tells us that Romance Scams are the most common form of fraud in today’s society. And I don’t use the word “fraud” loosely. As most of you who’ve read my material know, lies only constitute a crime when the victim suffers harm. ‘Til then, lies are just lies.

When the offender crosses that line in the sand that constitutes injury to the other party, they are actually committing a crime. Their Continue reading The 3 Primary Motives Behind Romance Scams, and why it’s so hard to get justice

March is Fraud Awareness Month!

#FraudAwarenessMonth

The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, in a CBC News article, stated that only about 10% of romance scams actually get reported to the police. If that’s the case, the losses of $99 million in Canada’s reported romance scam cases actually exceed hundreds of millions! They also calculate the average monetary loss per victim to be approximately $25,000.00. The FBI’s figures in the US top a billion dollars per year!  Continue reading March is Fraud Awareness Month!

New Spelling for “CONSENT” will stand RAPE MENTALITY on it’s ear!

Consent = Freely Given Knowledgeable & Informed Agreement!
Consent = Freely Given Knowledgeable & Informed Agreement!

CONSENT could be the most misunderstood word in the English language! 

Millions of people are harmed by rape every year. And some offenders do not comprehend why or how their behavior constitutes RAPE.

Let’s get it right!

Continue reading New Spelling for “CONSENT” will stand RAPE MENTALITY on it’s ear!

A Rapist Is Not My President!

president-transition

Every time a woman who was raped, and knows of Trump’s abuse of women, sees or hears Donald Trump, they cringe from the feeling that their defilement is of no importance to society. Their only saving grace is that the majority of Americans did not support that grossly indecent man.

How to get past the reminder?

“It’s not the majority” has become the mantra that enables me to get past those reminders that cut deeply into my psyche. And it makes me doubly determined to wake society up to the real meaning of rape!

Ivanna exemplifies misconceptions about rape

Ivanna Trump
Ivanna Trump

Certainly, his wife, Ivanna, didn’t know. She testified under oath that he raped her. But once she’d secured a $15MM settlement to shut her mouth, she claimed “Oh, but it wasn’t “criminal” rape.” She’s not an attorney. She’s not the police. She’s neither the judge nor the jury.  She’s the victim whose silence was bought off by a shameless, wealthy man.

Is there such a thing as non-criminal rape? 

Every form of rape is CRIMINAL! That includes spousal rape! Whenever consent is lacking in sex, it’s rape, plain and simple! And even the criminal code in NY State, where Ivanna was raped,  recognizes that spousal rape is rape, under the law!

If we have learned anything from Trump’s eery, and probably illegitimate, rise to authority, it’s that we must put an end to rape culture in society and expose what rape actually is….. NON-CONSENSUAL SEX! And it does not matter how non-consensual sex takes place….

Whether consent was undermined by:

  • Force
  • Drugs
  • Alcohol
  • Coercion
  • Deception
  • Mental Incapacity
  • Youth

RAPE IS RAPE! 

The Fight to Outlaw Rape & Sex Scam Crimes!
The Fight to Outlaw Rape & Sex Scam Crimes!

Please join The FORSSC today: The Fight to Outlaw Rape and Sex Scam Crimes! Help curb rape near you and around the world!